The Winning Mentality

My first memory of contemplating what “winning mentality” means was during my early university years. I used to play Dota 2 during those years (I was very, very bad at it) and avidly followed the annual tournament, The International (TI).

A friend’s passing comment during one of TIs has stuck with me ever since: “OG (one of the teams that participated) has such a winning mentality,” or in their words, “OG itu mentalnya juara banget, coy.”

There was nothing special about the comment itself; it was just a passing remark. Strangely, I remember my internal monologue up to this day:

What does having a winning mentality really mean?

Does it mean that you see yourself as a winner even before it happens?

But isn’t that being cocky? Isn’t it getting ahead of yourself?

Years passed, and I never really tried to find an answer until the topic came up while talking to my husband. This time, the conversation is worth explaining:

My husband, Ricky, started running just last year with some of his friends. Running was something I picked up during my university years and recently resumed a couple of years ago in Singapore. To me, it is a simple workout that is hard to perfect.

For amateurs, there are only two things to focus on: form and pace. Most people (including me) usually just care about their pace. Even though I’ve been running for years, I still feel my running form is not commendable, and my pace is… average at best. From my perspective, my husband and his friends, especially his friends, got good in such a short period.

That got me asking my husband out of pure curiosity:

“I don’t think I can solely attribute their performance to physical fitness. Like me and most people in our industry, they’re not athletes either. How do you think your friends got so good, so fast?”

Then he dropped the word: “Because they have the winning mentality. If you think to yourself, ‘I just want to chill, I’m happy with a sub-8 pace,’ then that’s your place. That’s where you’re supposed to be.”

Well, ouch.

“People like them are different; they have a winning mentality. They do not just run for fun. In their minds, they have this ambitious but realistic goal that they want to achieve, and they go for it. They don’t aim for easy goals or settle for subpar results. Reaching far ahead is winning, and winning is fun.”

And then it truly hit me when he said,

“If you think about it, it also reflects well in their career progression.”

This, I know to be true. Financial and career success is prevalent among these people. It never occurred to me that being good at their job and excelling in their fitness performance are bound by the same mentality.

If you look up the definition online, you’ll find that the winning mentality is very similar to the growth mindset, something often mentioned by self-help gurus. In short, when you have this mentality, you embrace challenges, learn from failures, and continuously strive for success with strong self-belief and adaptability.

There is no official definition differentiating the winning mentality from the growth mindset. Thus, I will take the liberty to give it my own differentiator:

Having a growth mindset means believing that you can be better and acting on it. It focuses on learning and self-growth

Given that I went to decent schools and now work alongside very accomplished people, most around me have this growth mindset. To illustrate, when hoping for a salary increase, they might think:

“I have worked hard and developed new skills that add value to my team. Even if I don’t get the raise this time, I can use the feedback to improve and continue to grow in my role. Every challenge is an opportunity to learn and get closer to my goals”

Having a winning mentality means believing you are great and working to prove yourself. This, in my opinion, is rarer. When hoping for a salary increase, they might think:

“I have consistently delivered exceptional results and demonstrated my value to the company. I am confident in my worth and deserve a salary increase. If this organization doesn’t recognize my contributions, I am fully prepared to explore other opportunities where my skills and achievements will be valued and rewarded appropriately.”

See the difference?

I’d like to provide a cautionary statement though: this kind of mentality has a very thin border with the Dunning-Kruger effect, the cognitive bias that causes people to overestimate their abilities or importance.

Believing you are capable does not automatically equate to actually being capable. People with a winning mentality usually don’t have this mindset from the get-go. Their self-assuredness comes from consistently delivering great results and receiving concrete acknowledgment for it.

Meaning, that if you think you already have a growth mindset, you are probably just a track record away from having a winning mentality.

At this point, you might be thinking: what’s the point of writing such a “self-help guru” themed blog post?

Whenever I write a post on this blog, it usually comes from a personal moment of reflection. When you are in a position of comfort, it is easy to feel enough. It is easy to get comfortable with what you have and settle for that. That’s what I’ve personally felt in the last couple of years. I’ve been blessed with very good people by my side and a job that pays well, which I actually like. What more should I ask for, right?

After the conversation with my husband, and a couple more related to that, I realized that you could always reach greater heights even if you feel grateful for what you have. A winning mentality might just be the arsenal that you’d want to develop and keep by your side to do that.

My husband has also reminded us of the Parable of the Talents from the Bible. This is the question he would often ask himself as a reflection: Are we wasting the talents and the blessing of physical health that is blessed upon us?

I am not (yet) on an evangelization mission so I wouldn’t go further on the Bible reference xD, but I’d like to share the chance to reflect for whoever is reading up until this point of the post:

Am I using my abilities to the fullest? Have I been setting a goal that is great and achievable or have I only been setting easy goals for myself?

A moment of growth and the pursuit of excellence in life does not always have to come from comparison with other people. It can always come from seeing the gap between what you can do and what you actually do.

You’ve reached the end! It feels refreshing to write something in the style that I usually do for my posts on this blog after a looong while. Thank you so much for reading <3

I create this little space on the internet to write my thoughts and reflections on being a human, a woman, and a software developer. I don't have Instagram/Twitter but I can be found on LinkedIn. Feel free to contact/give feedback/tell me your story through my email: ivanaairenee@gmail.com