I Quit Instagram and Twitter and This Is Three Months Later

I quit from the platforms since June 3rd this year and I’ve waited three months to finally write my experience of quitting social media down into a blog post. I think three months is a pretty good range of time to finally feel the results of a change of habit to trickle in. Summer internships are usually done in three months period. And for those of you who’ve gone through any 3-months internships before, the skillset and experience you get one month through the internship can be very different from the things you’ve gained and learned at the end of the whole three months.

To start off, I want to clarify that I don’t represent anyone other than myself when writing and sharing about my experience throughout this period of quitting the platforms nor I am discouraging anyone from using any social media. The strongest point that I want to deliver with this blog post is to show people that they have the option to quit if they want to.

The Beginning

I spent at least three hours on social media every single day. I think it’s pretty normal considering my age and this period of quarantine when there seems to be nothing much to do offline. Even though I’m not an avid poster (I posted only around 3-4 pictures/year on my Instagram, less than 10 tweets per week on Twitter), I definitely think a lot of what I want to post and show on my social media, on a daily basis. Will I sound witty if I tweet this? What would people think if I post this in my Instagram story? I want to do this thing and go to this place so that I can take pictures and post them. I regarded my existence online as very important. On the third day of quitting, I wrote this in my journal:

“I became extremely bored at times, and it somehow felt like no existence on Instagram right now feels like no existence at all.”

I’ve also grown to be very judgmental to myself as well as others. When someone posts their opinions on either platform, oftentimes I found myself overanalyzing what they put out. What does this person think when she tweets this? What kind of reactions does he want when he posts this kind of picture? I do not struggle with insecurity. Instead, I struggle with thinking too much about people I don’t really care about. I realized that I spent too much time thinking and caring about things and people that don’t really matter to me.

One day, it just came down to me that having minimalized online existence can be a pretty cool thing to try. I’ve met really interesting and smart people that do not have Instagram nor Twitter. The idea of quitting actually came to me as a pretty interesting experiment to try, not as a way to heal or improve myself.

The Experience

This cool and playful idea turns out to be one of the most important decisions that I’ve ever made for myself. Since day one, I kept a journal of what I feel and what I do during the period of quitting. In the first weeks, my journal is filled with the word “boredom”, “missing out on things”, “constantly feeling of wanting to post this and that on Twitter or Instagram”. However, once it hits two weeks, what I write shifts to something else:

…I think on the positive side my inner thoughts become healthier. I became more focused and less distracted when solving Leetcode problems, or when I’m watching or reading something. I think it made my thoughts clearer. I haven’t noticed any changes from my attention span though, because I haven’t done any productive work other than solving Leetcode problems, it’s kind of hard to measure. However, when I was preparing for my Anum final test, it seems that I was studying more effectively than usual. Even though I ended up flunking the test anyway.

At first, I was gaining a lot of focus. Before this “experiment”, if anyone were to ask me what’s my biggest weakness in a job interview, I would have very easily answered, “It’s very hard for me to focus on one thing at a time”. I often found myself reading two or three articles at the same time. I have to admit that it hasn’t gone entirely, but to this date, I’ve become more focused and less distracted than ever before.

Two months down and I was more than happy with the results that I was feeling. Other than my focus, I feel that my attention span has slowly improved. I also improve my reading speed a lot! It’s probably the advantage that I feel the most and it’s almost life-changing for me. Since I was a kid, I love to read but I can’t focus easily. Whenever I’m reading, you will find me murmuring out the words. It helps me listen to myself as I read and really absorb what I’m reading. One, it’s kind of noisy. Two, it slows my reading speed down. After two months of quitting, I find myself not needing to do that anymore and I was very very elated for this fact. My sister noticed this change as well. My reading speed soared. During the first two months, I read in a total of eight books without actually targetting myself to read that much. On average, I read one book per week, which is probably the fastest I’ve ever been (I’ll list down some book recommendations at the end of this post for those who are interested).

Moreover, I also feel the immense benefit of not being influenced. I begin to do things that genuinely interest me rather than doing it because it’s cool on IG. Apart from quitting Instagram and Twitter, I’ve also switched my main search engine to DuckDuckGo. By doing this, I’ve reduced, if not completely remove any targeted ads in my daily online browsing activity. I’ve found that finding the first source of information (original articles) is often more refreshing and insightful rather than consuming second-handed information from social media.

Other than the positive gains, I have to admit that there are some things I’ve lost as well. I’m not easily updated with people’s lives. As time progresses, telling people what’s happening in your life is as easy as posting on your social media. “I’ve got a new partner”: post couple dinner stories. “I’ve graduated!”: post a graduation picture. “I’m doing well with my business”: post an achievement post. “I’m not doing okay”: rants on Twitter. Without any subscription to that resources and information, I sometimes lose track of what’s happening to the people I care about. I’m lucky that people around me are still using social media and they always care to tell me the things I need to know.

However, with this “connection loss,” I actually gain a new good habit of maintaining connection. Instead of simply replying to stories and checking the status updates of the people I care about, I begin reaching out to them personally to know how they’re doing. This loss actually helps me in realizing that the “publish-subscribe method” is not the main way of communicating. We still have the good ol’ Peer-to-Peer 😉 (HAHA forgive me!!).

The Realization

I think I’ve realized and seen it in much clarity of how social media has taken shape in the last decade while not being there. It was invented and built as something that is much different from the mainstream media (TV, newspaper). Over the years, they have become more and more similar and began to intersect with each other. At first, it was a pure place to connect with other people. Everyone was independent, post anything that they feel worth sharing, and no one pays anything or get paid to do anything on their social media. What we witness in the last decade is the internet and social media have become the new mainstream media. Young people and kids began to gravitate more to it than the “old mainstream” TV and newspaper.

Along with those changes, we now see that being popular in social media can bring revenue and hard cash for a lot of people. Influencers are the new TV stars, they gain money by creating content which is very similar to acting and hosting variety shows. People get paid to promote products, which is very similar to being in a TV commercial. Internet artists that used to be independent now have companies who manage them.

This leads me to a very interesting realization: being in social media nowadays feels very similar like being in front of the TV when I was younger. Consuming the entertainment it provides and being unconsciously influenced by the advertisements in between. Behind both is an industry that generates money from the ads.

Please do realize that I didn’t insert or intend any positive or negative sentiments to either the old or new mainstream media. This is something that I hope anyone who reads this can conclude for themselves.

Even when we’re not influenced to buy or consume any products advertised on social media, we’re very much influenced by the people on it. Social media redefines the word “success”, “happiness”, and “beautiful”. This brings a lot of benefits and has inspired a lot of people in the younger generation. However, there is the other side of it. When I quit, I observe the people around me who still actively uses Instagram (basically my mom and sister since I stay at home most of the time) and listen to their verbal comments on the stuff they witness in it. I catch my sister saying things like “Rene, see X have/do/give Y, I can do it too, I want to do it too!“. We probably hear this kind of statement and comment all the time on things people post on social media. When my sister makes this kind of comment, I usually have two responses: 1. “Yeah, you can do it if you want to, I’ll support/buy for you”. 2. “Well, you don’t have to do it just because other people are doing it. I don’t think it is really necessary”.

When we see “successful people” who do business for example on social media, let them inspire us and let what they share become something that we can learn from. It doesn’t mean that if we don’t do the things they do or want the things they have, we are less than them (even when they say so themselves! Please don’t listen to anyone who makes you feel that you are below them even if you think they are smarter/more accomplished than you are!). Whether you realize it or not, the things that we want in life becomes very orchestrated in a lot of ways by the society in which we live, through social media.

You think that you can never escape it since it is already what it is in this modern time. Try quitting social media, you’ll see for yourself that you have the option to want something just because you want it and to want to achieve something because it is meaningful for you.

Closing

Imagine two people walking on the road of their lives, their roads are of the same length and size but have very different elements on them. A’s road has a lot of billboards on it. It’s filled with adverts that feature attractive-looking people on them. On the other hand, B’s road is much emptier, it has road signs and a map board for directions but there is nothing much. Both roads have several restaurants on them.

On the road of her life, A is constantly inspired and influenced by the billboards that she sees along the way. She saw an advert about this sushi restaurant that features a legitimate-looking sushi chef, smiling confidently looking as if right into her eyes from the billboard. She became very excited to try it. So when the next meal time comes, she searches for the sushi restaurant and eats there.

Meanwhile, B is more deliberate and less predetermined on his choice for restaurants. He will walk and take more careful looks at the restaurants and its menu posted on the windows. When something piques his interest, he will go in and eat there. Sometimes the food doesn’t taste good, but most of the time they pleasantly surprise him.

By the end of the mealtime, A and B are both full. By the end of the road, A and B have walked the same distance. But in the end, without realizing it, A and B have led different lives. A’s life is led by the choices she made that are constantly influenced by the billboards and the adverts on them. B’s life is full of the choices he made very rarely with the influence of others.

No one knows and no one can judge whose life is happier and more fulfilling. A and B’s road of lives are already paved for them and they didn’t know that they could’ve walked on a different kind of road. But we’re not A or B. We can choose which road we want to walk on, which leads us to a point: some people, maybe some of us, who live a life similar to A’s do not realize that they are capable of living a life that is more similar to B’s.

We have a choice. We don’t have to stay on social media if we think that we’d rather stay out of it. We have the capability to opt-out.

Some books I’ve read over the summer and my personal rating! 😉

Non-fictions:

1. The Moment of Lift - Melinda Gates (5/5)

2. Filosofi Teras (Written in Bahasa Indonesia) - Henry Manampiring (4.5/5)

3. Lost Connections - Johann Hari (4.5/5)

4. Quiet - Susan Cain (4.5/5)

5. Outliers - Malcolm Gladwell (5/5)

6. Blink - Malcolm Gladwell (4/5)

7. David and Goliath - Malcolm Gladwell (3.5/5)

8. Letters from an Astrophysicist - Neil deGrasse Tyson (4/5)

Fictions:

1. Around The World in Eighty Days - Jules Verne (4/5)
2. The Valley of Amazement - Amy Tan (3.5/5)

I create this little space on the internet to write my thoughts and reflections on being a human, a woman, and a software developer. I don't have Instagram/Twitter but I can be found on LinkedIn. Feel free to contact/give feedback/tell me your story through my email: ivanaairenee@gmail.com